Playboy

Een bekentenis. Bij het afstuderen aan de universiteit, ondertussen vijf jaar geleden, stuurde ik een resem sollicitatiebrieven naar een resem bladen. Of de redactie per toeval nog een schrijvende kracht zocht? Een jonge gast, bereid om voor geen geld lappen tekst te pleuren?

Stonden op mijn lijstje: National Geographic Magazine (‘altijd een groene jongen geweest’), het maandblad Eos (‘heb wiskunde-wetenschappen gestudeerd, zes uur’), maar ook Playboy, de betere catalogus in meisjesachtig naakt.

Waarom? Niet om de interviews te doen met de stoeipoezen. Dat durfde ik toen niet. Ik, amper de baard in de keel, tegenover een dergelijk monument van sensualiteit en gebeeldhouwd spek? Ik verschrompelde wellicht als een pietje in koud water.

Ook niet om te schrijven over sportwagens. Ik kan een gaspedaal amper van een rem onderscheiden. En blijkbaar wordt dat meer en meer de norm, nu het blad laat weten het bloot te bannen.

Neen, ik wilde voor de Belgische editie van Playboy een column schrijven, in navolging van Paul Snoek, Hugo Claus, Herman Brusselmans en Johan Anthierens. Literaire macho’s met een maandelijks rubriekje aan talige testosteron. Mannen, waarvoor meisjes gillen. Een te volgen voorbeeld dus.

Maar mijn mails bleven onbeantwoord. Net als bij National Geographic Magazine en Eos.

Achteraf gezien een goede zaak. Het zaad van een maat doet dan wel geen kwaad, het blijft een bizar idee dat mijn naam tussen hun dichtgeplakte bladzijden zou staan.

 

 

(Dit stukje verscheen eerder in De Standaard)

 

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